.

I have never wanted to let go, more than I do now.

x_______Hurting

I don’t smile anymore. I thought I was beginning to be okay. You know, I was starting to let go of the past. I was getting ready to moving on. And for some reason, out of no where, I was hit by a rock of sadness, a bolder full of hate and rainstorm full of depression. Old habits began to resurface, emotional scars began to unstitch, and pools of confusion leaked out of them; on to impure skin, of an unsure girl. I started to question myself, and I started get angry with myself. Angry for not being okay, angry for not being strong enough, to fuck up the sadness, which followed me, wherever I seemed to go. So I’ll bleed, until I began to accept the hurt, kick its ass, and leave it behind me. I don’t want to be controlled by a peace of metal.

Golly..

There's something that I've been dying to tell you.
I think, maybe, I'm crazy about you.
I appreciate you, for all you are worth.
You're starting to mean more to me than just . . .
a friend.
I've always wanted you to be more than that.











I never thought I would be brave enough to say,

I think you're the most
flawless, and utterly amazing person
I was ever able to meet.






I want you.









Fuck. If only I had the balls to tell you that...

___

Dear _______ ,
I want to tell the world that you, are no good.
Nothing good comes from people like you.
And the only good that will be done, is you, gone.
I hate who you are, and all you fucking stand for.
And now, you mean nothing, nothing at all to me.
Why bother have you here, if you're never around?
You treat my mother like shit.
And even worse, you brag about all the things you have.
As if any of that fucking matters to us.
As if you could ever fucking matter to ME.
Maybe, you used to.
And maybe, I miss you being "Dad"
But now, you are useless.

_ Cynthia Janette Olivarez Blanco.

Oh Dear,

You have been the most amazing friend.
I thank you for every single thing you have done.
And I love you for giving up on me.
They I always want you to.
So thanks, Lord.

07-01-09

My life.
Means nothing...
Not to me...
Not anymore

And you lie so well.

Give me something of yours to hold on to
Anything would be alright with me
Because not being able to be with you
Raises questions in this empty mind of mine
I still don't know if you ever really loved me
Even though you promised me you always would.
Leaving me was so easy for you.